The Truth About Culinary School

[PAGE 3 - DISCOVERED IN BOTTOM OF MIXING BOWL, AUTHENTICITY: 9/10]

"They don't tell you this in culinary school: cooking is 10% technique, 20% ingredients, and 70% managing your crushing disappointment in humanity.

Day One, they teach you knife skills. How to hold it. How to cut. How to not lose a finger (most students fail this within the first month).

What they DON'T teach you: how to cope when your sous chef uses the same cutting board for raw chicken and fresh herbs. How to smile when someone describes well-done steak as their "preference." How to remain civil when someone - SOMEONE - calls a roux "butter soup."

Culinary school prepares you to cook.

Nothing prepares you for the things you'll witness."

— Biographer's Note: Found coffee-stained and covered in what appeared to be tears. Or possibly balsamic reduction. Hard to tell.

From the original Snackhole Leaked Pages collection. Lightly edited for this edition. A work of fiction.